As you all probably know (as i make it clear on my FB wall) Ive been suffering through what has possibly been the WORST IC flare-up Ive ever had. im lucky in the way that the worst, most painful, debilitating flares happen maybe once a year, twice if Im really unlucky. (or drinking.eating wrong). but they make a girl remember that she needs to pay better attention to what she is putting in to her own body.

For people with my disease, we need to stay away from certain kinds of foods and basically any kind of drink thats not water. you ALL know how i feel about Coke (mostly thanks to my mother in law, not a pepsi girl any more) and Im sure most Americans feel mutually exclusive about super empowering drinks like coffee and tea..... and the fake-empowerment that comes from alcohol. so naturally I don't always pay attention to these rules... nearly ever. coffee would be a rare treat as it is one of the worst flare-foods, but even so. who at 24 doesnt want to get drunk from time to time?

And then there is the actually solid-foods. things soaked in vinegar. acidic fruits, soy products, bananas (typing out that word made the lining of my bladder cringe) sugar and sweets, and a list of other things that I LOVE (I weep mostly for the lack of vinegar foods and bananas.. ow..) but should at least try to stay away from.I usually didnt. and if you really think about it, what doesn't have some kind of acid component in it?!

but after this flare, I decided I cant live like this - even if the less life changing flares aren't as bad as this one, every time that I have these kinds of irritations inside my bladder, some of them scar over after healing. do you know what that does to an air-tight rubbery bag? imagine putting a really strong clothes pin (the kind you use to hang laundry, not keep on diapers) on the portion of a balloon. then fill it up with water as much as it can. then dump it out, and put ANOTHER clothes pin on. try filling it. theres less water. and there will be less, and less water each time you add one on. with each scarred over irritant to my bladder, its gets less able to retain liquid. it gets stiff, and the size and stretch factor goes down. if im not careful, it can go down to the point of being a useless, shriveled, stiff bag of death. and im not to keen on the idea of living with a bag hooked up to my urethra for the rest of my days.

So, this time around, instead of drinking water and cutting out soda because i need to fit in to a dress, or want to wear some thing of a certain size and fashion, Im doing it TO LIVE. im not going on a diet where i HAVE TO give up things i love, because I want to be more socially acceptable to my shallow-minded peers.. Im doing it so i can KEEP A VITAL BODY PART.

And you know what? that makes a much MUCH bigger impact on a persons life style change then all the other stupid reasons Ive dieted before. so this time it will probably stick alot better.

Thanks for listening and please keep me in your prayers. cause im not gunna lie - being with out the ability to see a doctor for now.. im scared. im really, really scared. But im gunna try.